Mistakes.

I'm ok with making mistakes. Everyone does it, and it's ok if you learn from them..... right?

I made some pretty bad mistakes today. One that I even found from this time last year. That I will be paying for this year.

If the "powers that be" find out, I'm so screwed. The mentality is spelled out like this:

"Good employees should know what I want. I don't have to tell them. If I had all _____s working here (insert name of his favorite employee), this place would run great."

So. Even though I was never taught properly how to do this part of my job, I do it the best I can with very little help. But any mistake I make is yet another reason to have my head on the chopping block.

I know irrational people exist everywhere, at every job, but this is just more than I can take.

But nothing has been said to me (yet). Maybe I'm just bracing myself for the worst. Anticipation of what's to come is truly one of my biggest stressors. Or maybe I'm just making a mental list of reasons why they don't want me, so it's ok for them to let me go..... or ok for me to walk away.