Mistakes.

I'm ok with making mistakes. Everyone does it, and it's ok if you learn from them..... right?

I made some pretty bad mistakes today. One that I even found from this time last year. That I will be paying for this year.

If the "powers that be" find out, I'm so screwed. The mentality is spelled out like this:

"Good employees should know what I want. I don't have to tell them. If I had all _____s working here (insert name of his favorite employee), this place would run great."

So. Even though I was never taught properly how to do this part of my job, I do it the best I can with very little help. But any mistake I make is yet another reason to have my head on the chopping block.

I know irrational people exist everywhere, at every job, but this is just more than I can take.

But nothing has been said to me (yet). Maybe I'm just bracing myself for the worst. Anticipation of what's to come is truly one of my biggest stressors. Or maybe I'm just making a mental list of reasons why they don't want me, so it's ok for them to let me go..... or ok for me to walk away.

yay for friday.

1. woke up early and made it to the gym. it was short, but better than nothing.
2. awesome parents who stayed at my house until 10pm fixing our POS shower door.
3. salsa tonight!
4. sun's finally out.
5. a few days of mild weather.... and will continue through next week!

i'm a slacker.

OK, honestly, I thought I posted one last week, but I guess it didn't go through or whatever.

Now that we have our e-mail chain going again, I feel much better already. It's wednesday and I've eaten decently all week... hope I can keep it going. I'm also trying *desperately* to be more positive while at work. It's helping to heal me a little bit. There's one person that I'm still having trouble looking in the eye though...

1. Joined a gym... soooo cheap and it should be just enough. And they have my arc trainer.
2. Finally having my Christmas Card list together. Wow am I a slacker!!
3. Having a small sandwich and feeling full. Last month I would have eaten 3 of those sanwiches... AND the piece of cake that is taunting me from the refrigerator!
4. Mark helping me soooo much around the house. He is really starting to spoil me! (or is this how it's supposed to be??)
5. Salsa on Friday with a new partner!!! It should be fun :-)